Let’s get loud

Being ladylike means being loud and changing the world

My granddaughter – let’s call her Echo – is loud.

She is gloriously, beautifully, loud.

She is the kind of loud that 20 years ago, I would have frowned at had I heard her in public.

“Can’t her parents control her?” I would have thought to myself or said to my companion. “She needs to behave!”

That’s when I was still part of the patriarchy.

Now I know better.

Now I know that my childhood – that my *life* – of being told to be quiet – that I was too bossy – that I used too many big words that made people feel stupid – was not about me but about the people who were speaking. That boys and men who were acting the exact same way were not getting the feedback I was getting.

Now I know that only girls and women were and are being told to shush.

Now I know and now I am pissed.

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Mr T and I just visited our wonderful, beautiful Bonus Children and Grandchildren. (Did I ever tell you how honored I am that my Bonus Daughters call me “Grandma” to their kids? It is one of the great joys of my life.)

I hadn’t seen them since before covid, when Echo was only a toddler. Even then, she was loud and bold and her parents let her be that way.

I loved it.

I loved that they didn’t hold her back. She held her own with her brother and her two male cousins.

And that has continued to today. At seven, she is piercingly loud. And she is taking tae kwon do with her brother. She is loud and confident and she doesn’t take crap and she makes potions to smite her enemies.

And her parents don’t shush her.

They don’t tell her to sit down and be quiet.

They don’t tell her that little girls should be seen and not heard.

Instead, they drive her to tae kwon do.

They got her an old table where she can make her potions.

They got her a karaoke microphone to channel her voice.

They listen to her.

They listen to her.

They listen to her.

And when the day comes that someone tries to grab her butt while she’s waiting tables, she’s going to level him with a swift chop.

When the day comes that she learns she’s being paid less because she’s a woman, she’s going to raise the roof.

When the day comes that someone sneers that they know why *she* got the job managing a system-wide implementation (she is of Filipino heritage), she will know exactly what to say and at what volume. (Hint: It’s because she is a fabulous developer.)

Nobody will tell Echo to be quiet.

Nobody will shut her up.

Nobody will keep her down.

I. Can’t. Wait.