Camera-On Zoom Meetings for Work – Whose Stupid Idea Was That?
The good news is I got a job.
Now that I have acknowledged that this is good news, I need to complain about said job.
I have never met any of my co-workers in person.
All my interviews were on zoom. Camera on.
And now all the work – the meetings – are on zoom. Camera. On.
Which I suppose I might not mind so much if I were photogenic and young and gorgeous, but Lord have mercy the camera on my computer has a way of highlighting things I would prefer not to highlight.
But – that is the reality of being lucky enough to be alive and I am trying to heed Laura Lippman’s admonition that WE MUST LOVE OURSELVES, so I am going to complain about things about zoom that are not about aging and not about not being photogenic.
The entire advantage of working from home, or at least the advantage I have always treasured, is that I did not have to be presentable.
Zoom requires that I be presentable and I don’t even know what world those Zoom people were living in when they designed this awful thing
I worked from home a lot with my old job and we did not do cameras on. I was working with engineers and we were always going through some kind of meeting agenda or doing a formal product development review where we needed to be on the same (literally) page. We shared documents, not images of ourselves. Plus engineers and eye contact is not exactly a thing.
But this job. Oy.
My boss is new to the company. I am new to the company. Nobody has met and I understand philosophically why cameras on is a good idea, but what that translates to in real life for me is I now have to wash my hair more than once a week.
Which might not seem unreasonable to you but I have not been to a salon since January 2020. I have not had my hair colored since then and now I know what color it really is, which is a decent color I suppose but it is boring. And I have been cutting my hair myself and that has gone about as well as you might imagine.
I guess we’re all in that boat. Almost all the women I have met at work have long-ish hair. Nobody has had a haircut.
But I think they have better supplies than I have.
That is, although we still buy things, we are not buying unnecessary things. And we are not making unnecessary trips to the store. And we have decided we might as well use inventory.
Which means I am using the Bad Shampoo.
That’s the shampoo I bought years ago and tried and I didn’t like it but I also was not going to throw perfectly good (well, not good but functional) shampoo in the trash so I put it upstairs in the guest bathroom so my houseguests –
Thinking this through, it’s not really the most hospitable thing to do, is it?
To ask my family and friends to use crummy shampoo just because they didn’t bring any?
Although in my defense, I thought it was Good Shampoo when I bought it.
Anyhow, I ran out of the Good Shampoo last year and decided I might as well use the shampoo in the house because who cares how I look anyhow?
And then I got a job.
And then I had to have the camera on.
And then I thought crap this means I have to wash my hair more than once a week.
And all I have is the Bad Shampoo.
Plus – it’s cold in our house so I wear my fluffy robe of leopardo over my gym clothes or PJs and that’s not really an option if you are on camera.
Now I am forced to shower more frequently than once a week.
I am trying to figure out The Shampoo Situation.
And makeup! I put on some makeup and I didn’t even recognize myself. Do people even wear makeup anymore? Is that still a thing? Because I am Done.
And I have to wear clothes that make me look like I have put a little bit of thought into what I am wearing, which, in the past year, has been at the very bottom of my list. I don’t care about clothes anymore. Does anyone? I don’t care about any of this anymore. Do you?