It’s Viagra of begging – a solution for something that the lack of will not kill you
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Under what circumstances would you ask your friends for money?
- Your child needed a heart transplant and insurance didn’t cover it?
- You had to bury your child and didn’t have life insurance on the child because really who has life insurance on their kids?
- You were about to lose your house because you had lost your job and had gone through your savings?
Would you ask for money to fund a vacation to Europe?
That you are already on?
Because that’s what I saw someone doing. Asking for contributions to a GoFundMe for the trip to Rome he and his girlfriend are taking as we speak.
Yes you read that right.
They are in Rome.
And asking for money to pay for their trip.
I’m the first person to say “TRAVEL WHILE YOU CAN!”
I might say, “Maybe charge it to your credit card if you’re sure you can pay the trip off in a month or two, especially if you find a good fare.”
I might say, “Join the Peace Corps because then you get paid to go abroad.”
I might say, “Forgo an engagement ring and buy plane tickets instead.”
But I have never said and would never say, “Take trips you can’t afford! It’s OK – just ask your friends for money!”
My friend Jane was not invited to the wedding of her daughter’s best friend, Susie. But Susie sent a GoFundMe to Jane asking Jane to give her cash for her honeymoon. (She also sent a video of the wedding, which – yeah. That’s the best thing in the world – to watch someone else’s wedding video. It’s the modern equivalent of watching the slides of the family trip to the Grand Canyon.)
Jane told her daughter that if she ever did anything like that – if she asked people for cash, Jane would disown her.
This is not just me being old and cranky. Even in my 20s, when a kid knocked on my door selling magazines at inflated prices so he could “earn a trip to Europe,” I was not having it.
“I also want to go to Europe,” I told him. “And you want me to overpay for magazines so you can go? Nope. I’m saving my money for my trip.”
That is, I was also young and cranky.
But damn. I took peanut butter sandwiches to work for years instead of going out with my co-workers. I went to the matinee when I went to the movies. I drove an old Chevette. I was determined to pay off my student loans and save money for a trip to Europe.
I have no problem with wiping out student debt. Kids today are taking on ridiculous amounts of debt for college and it’s unfair. Bail them out. If we can bail out the banks, we can bail out the kids. I don’t mind paying for that.
I don’t mind chipping in for a funeral. Or for a transplant. Of course I would help a friend in danger of being evicted.
But dude – you’re on your own with your vacation. The vacation I want to take.
Texan in Exile 
Eh, they can ask. I’ll probably say no, but they can ask (*provided* there is the assumption you will probably say no, and provided there is no social pressure/guilt applied). It’s also weirder now with “influencers” and also people who provide public entertainment for Patreon spare change.
(the modern registry problem of “…look, we have two peoples’ worth of kitchen and other things already, for goodness’ sake don’t give us another toaster or vase, but we also have two peoples’ worth of student debt and if we *could* do bucket list things on our honeymoon, that’d be great” vs. “we like giving you items to use in your future married life and do not like giving cash” [hi, it’s me, I’d rather give people chocolate to share than cash]… that is something I feel conflicted about. Because yes, the proliferation of unwanted Stuff is not great, but also there are traditions about gift giving, but also cash for a honeymoon is not my jam [although it is some peoples’ jam: paying for a surfing lesson! paying for a fancy meal out instead of sandwiches in the room].)
But also we need to keep having it be more than just okay to say no to all of this!
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