When they say the quiet part out loud

At least (I guess at least? It’s better to recognize your enemy) Butker doesn’t hide his feelings

This story is the sort of crap I mean when I talk about bro culture.

I overheard a man – who is the CFO of a Fortune 50 company – ask the two men who were with him about a fourth man, who was not present but whose name had come up and who was defined as Indian: “Dot or feather?”

No shame.

No looking around carefully before he said it.

No apparent awareness that he was saying something offensive.

No pushback from the other two men.

But they were three white men.

Who cares what the CFO said?

They all know what’s going on, amirite?

They all know they are The Patriarchy.

They are The Power System.

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I don’t know this guy, but I know him. We all do. And I guarantee you that the CFO knew what he was saying.

That he knows this is something he can say only in certain surroundings.

He knows not to say something like that around Sundar Pichai, Shantanu Narayen, or Satya Nadella, all of whom could be his clients.

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On his face, the CFO is charming, warm, affable.

They always are.

He might tell you that he is not a racist or a misogynist or any kind of ist. Maybe he even has Friends of Color.

But look at whom he promotes.

Look at whom he mentors.

Look at whom he invites to play golf.

Whose office he stops in to chat mid-morning.

It’s not one of the two Black men on his floor.

It’s not one of the four (low-level) women on his team.

It’s the –

Oh heck I don’t need to tell you who it is.

You know.

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I am sure this guy is Involved. He’s on the symphony board. He buys a table at the fundraiser for the Arts in the Schools program and for the food bank. He chairs the performing arts campaign. His wife – who does not work outside the home – volunteers for Good Causes.

He’s a #NotAllMen!

And he never promotes women or non-white men.

But I didn’t need to tell you that.

You already knew.