We are not safe

Men worry about being bored, women worry about being murdered

It’s the water we swim in. It’s so “of course” that we use it as a joke.

Remember the woman who was raped while she was jogging in Central Park in 1989?

(And the five teenagers who were accused and convicted were actually innocent and not released until 2002. The fomer president – the awful guy – took out full-page ads in the New York newspapers calling for the death penalty to be brought back. Last year, he refused to apologize for the ads and for what he said about the teenagers. He said, “You have people on both sides of that. They admitted their guilt.”

Their confessions were coerced. They. Were. Innocent. They might not have gone to prison if TFG had not taken out the ads.)

Anyhow. Remember when that happened?

My friends and I were horrified.

Our worst fear – that we would be attacked and raped by a stranger.

(Although as it has turned out, at least for me, it’s the men you know who should worry you more. The ones who just won’t stop trying. When I was in those days, I thought that just because a guy drove from Houston to Austin to see me, I had to let him stay at my house. And then and then. I WAS AN IDIOT I WISH I COULD HAVE A DO OVER.)

We were horrified.

This is what happens.

This is what happens to women who Don’t Follow the Rules.

So we did what women do.

We blamed the jogger.

What was she wearing?

“What was she thinking, running in the park after dark?”

All women know you can’t go running after dark.

It’s unthinkable.

It’s not done.

That is not how women get to live.

My friend Heather got angry with us.

“Why shouldn’t we go running after dark?” she demanded.

I was confused. “It’s not safe!” I tried to explain.

“It should be!” she countered.

“But – it’s NOT!” I said.

“We shouldn’t have to park under the light in the parking lot when we go to the grocery store at night,” she seethed. “We shouldn’t have to position our keys over our knuckles. We shouldn’t have to check under our cars and in the back seats before we get in.”

“But that’s how the world is!”

She shook her head. “That’s not how it should be.”

I gave up. She was living in some unattainable utopia. I was in the Real World.

That was then.

This is now.

Now I realize that she was right and I was wrong.

I realize that I should be angry that I have to think about whether it’s safe to walk alone after dark.


I realize I should be angry that it’s not safe for us to walk alone after dark.


3 thoughts on “We are not safe

  1. You’re absolutely right. And, as you have pointed out many times …. the only thing worse would be if we were women of color, who have even more things threatening them.


  2. Preach sister. We have to dress a certain way or we will be beaten by our father and brothers. We can’t go to school or drive a car. If we are raped, unless there are three male witnesses to provide testimony to our innocence, we are at fault and will be stoned to death. We can be married off at age 9 to someone in his 60s, and there’s no recourse. Yup, American women have it SO BAD. Don’t even get me started on female circumcision and infibulation. Oh the suffering of the Western Woman.

    Also, no pockets and not enough women’s bathrooms. 🤡🤡🤡

    I can’t believe I have to say this, but rape isn’t morning after regret, or even middle of the act regret if nothing is said at the time. If one consents, even begrudgingly, one bears much responsibility for what happened. Don’t embrace victimhood, even though trauma is the gold standard of progressive currency today. Instead, own the mistake. Resolve to be disagreeable when necessary to protect your own interests. We degrade real victims when we pretend that all women are victims of an unjust patriarchal society. Just like we degrade vile acts of real racism when we pretend that Merica’ is Super White SuprEmAcy since it’s founding in 1619 derp de derp.

    I can understand the allure of claiming victimhood and trauma. People coddle you, which is nice. You are absolved of all responsibility and given all rights of grievance. Powerful stuff. Instead of regret, remorse or shame, you are encouraged to feel anger, resentment and self-righteous indignation. Pride, even, at being a “survivor”. Notice that regret, remorse and shame are NOT any of the Seven Deadly Sins but anger, envy and pride are. Imagine letting go of your grievances and instead finding gratitude. Western women enjoy immense freedom of movement, equality and access. Want to be an Women’s Studies professor? You can do that. Want to be a firefighter, doctor, lawyer, teacher, nurse etc etc etc? You can do that. Want to treat sex casually and have multiple abortions? You can do that. Want to carry a loaded weapon on your person to make your nighttime walks safer? You can take steps that will allow you to do that.

    I strongly suspect that Western Women are going to get some hard lessons in the coming years about their vulnerability to crime as more of this toxic grievance culture spreads and our justice system is degraded. You don’t feel safe now? Just wait. As a Western Woman, I’m not at all pleased with the current state of affairs.

    I know I’m being extremely unkind. It’s your blog, you can say whatever ideologically possessed garbage you like, and your woke buddies can reply and if I don’t like it, I can just lose the URL. I’m quite certain nothing I say will shake you out of this disgustingly stupid mindset, but it pains me to see a kind and intelligent woman reduced to the resentful and angry person you appear to have become. However, you and your ilk are enabling the disruption and dismantling of America. That I cannot abide.

    And ffs, it’s queer black neurodivergent trans-women at the apex of the victim hierarchy. If you are going to parrot the inanity of the radical left, get it right.


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