I was gone for a while and I come back and the world is not better.
This crap is getting so, so old.
He disagrees with her opinion.
Instead of countering her opinion with facts, he goes straight to ad hominem attacks that include a sex-based insult and an assertion that she is not sane.
This tactic of not countering a statement with facts is so, so common. That one I can almost overlook. I frequently get facebook comments claiming that what I have posted is not truthful.
I ignore those comments. The links I post lay out clear arguments with data. If the commenters (soon to be ex friends) think they are not the truth, they may respond with facts that disprove the argument. It is not on me to convince people who cannot even construct a decent argument.
And this tactic of sex-based insults is also so common that I don’t even notice it anymore.
Except now I do.
And it makes me angry.
The only thing he left out was questioning whether she was on her period and telling her not to be so emotional. (Except you know – she wasn’t the emotional one – he was.)
We women have been discredited for millennia. Women who dared to speak their minds have been called crazy and burned at the stake and committed to mental institutions against our will.
In 1893, police admitted Agnes to a local mental institution because of complaints from her neighbours. It seems she told them that people were plotting to steal her money and she ‘believed her life to be in danger’. This led to a diagnosis of paranoia. Increasingly angry and ‘non-compliant’ with her incarceration, she was transferred in 1895 to Hubertusberg Psychiatric Institution near Dresden.
[Question: Who among us would not be “angry and non-compliant” at being unjustly imprisoned? Who among us does not get angry when reading a news story about police brutality related to someone “resisting arrest.” WHO AMONG US WOULD NOT RESIST AN UNJUST ARREST?]
Women are called shrill and emotional. Our hormones make us unstable.
Men tell little boys, “You throw like a girl!” (Instead of just, you know, teaching girls how to throw a baseball properly.) When men want to insult another man, they call him a “p*ssy.” One of the very worst words you can use on a woman in the US is a word I won’t even type out but it’s a term that has caused me to gasp when I have heard it on a TV show.
The very fact that being called anything related to femaleness is considered derogatory – why? Why is it so so bad to be a woman? Why do some men hate us so much?
Ted Yoho went straight to the “but I have daughters” argument.
Which – dude? That makes it worse as far as I am concerned.
But then, it shouldn’t matter! It should not matter that he has daughters.
And I say this as someone who has used this same argument against a man and am only now seeing how wrong it was.
When I was 19, I worked as a waitress in a bar over Christmas break one year. One night, as I was leaning over a table, wiping it off, a man grabbed my butt.
I was so shocked that I said nothing. I didn’t know what to say. This had never happened to me before.
But a few minutes later, I figured it out.
I marched over to him and said, “Don’t touch me.”
His eyes flew open. “But your butt was so cute!”
“Don’t touch me!”
Which – also Step One of How to Infuriate a Woman: Discredit Her Emotions by Laughing at Them.
“How would you feel,” I hissed at him, “if someone treated your daughter like that?”
(Did I not mention he was old? Like at least 40?)
He shrugged. “I don’t have a daughter.”
I was undeterred. “Well IF YOU DID.”
But now, I realize this was the wrong argument.
The argument is not that men should treat women with respect only because they want other men to treat their own daughters with respect. They should not treat us with respect out of fear that some other man might mistreat their daughters.
They should treat us with respect because we are human beings.
It should not be that complicated.
But that’s the argument that Yoho resorted to. Sort of. Except not really.
He just implied that because he has daughters, he is incapable of sex-based insults.
“Having been married for 45 years with two daughters, I’m very cognizant of my language,” Yoho had said, in a speech in which he did not mention Ocasio-Cortez’s name, and in which he nonsensically refused to “apologize for my passion, or for loving my God, my family, and my country.”
You guys, I am so tired of this crap. I am so tired of these men. I am so done with them.