On adding pajamas to my list of issues

I am too tired to think about the Big Evils because I am cold

pockets 1

I know I am tilting at windmills and I am exhausted and I haven’t even started thinking about the Big Issues like China, which is EVIL, and how it turns out that a bunch of the stuff that I thought was being recycled is being burned as fuel in Indonesia instead and is poisoning children and adults and they’re shooting protesters in Chile and in Hong Kong and our precious democracy in the US – I can’t even go there – well – I am exhausted with all the misogyny and the crap that affects me personally in such a small, small way and then all the crap that really affects other women globally.

And then I think, Well, let me focus on a small issue so I can get really mad about something – something little – something that maybe I can fix.

Maybe I can have a razor-sharp focus on something – just one thing – and I can FIX IT.

That something is pajamas.

That something is a subset of my Potty Parity, Pockets, and Sleeves platform for when I take over the world.

(That platform has expanded dramatically and I don’t even have the time, but China watch out I am coming for you and your concentration camps.)

Dang. Even writing this, I am starting to feel petty. Can we all agree that we feel powerless about so much of what is happening in the world and that we want to fix it and we don’t even know where to start and that maybe, what I can do here is talk about something small and silly and maybe we can laugh for a little bit and forget about the big issues (although we acknowledge that we are lucky that our problems are relatively small)?

OK then.

Here’s what has me pissed off today.

CLOTHING DESIGNERS HEAR ME.

What is the primary function of pajamas?

Wait.

Let’s back up.

What is the primary function of a clothing designer?

Answer: To design clothing to meet the needs of the person wearing the clothing.

There. Now that we have that straight, let’s go to question 2.

What is the primary function of women’s pajamas?

Answer: TO KEEP ME WARM WHILE I SLEEP.

So.

If the primary function of pajamas is to keep me warm while I sleep, why do you not cover my upper chest and neck? I do not need to expose my collarbone and half my shoulder, that is, I want to cover that part of my body TO KEEP ME WARM.

If the primary function of pajamas is to keep me warm while I sleep, why do you have a cuffed ankle to keep the pants leg down that not only loses its elasticity after one wearing but then rides up to my knee and then stays stuck above my calf, exposing my lower leg? That is, I want to cover that part of my body TO KEEP ME WARM.

If the primary function of pajamas is to keep me warm while I sleep, why do you include pockets? On my pajamas? When I am going nowhere but into my bed? Where I do not need to carry stuff? But in the REST OF MY LIFE WHEN I ACTUALLY LEAVE MY HOUSE, YOU WILL NOT GIVE ME POCKETS? WHY IS THAT?

Why can’t you designers design something to do what it’s supposed to do? Just keep me warm. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

2 thoughts on “On adding pajamas to my list of issues

    1. Oh yeah I guess you’re right! I guess too many pockets is better than not enough pockets. Or that is, the wrong pockets is better than no pockets? At least it’s pockets? A step in the pocket direction?

      Like

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