There will be no line for The Revolution. For Women, that is.

And we will have classes for men on How To Wait

mens room1
Mr T and I went to the symphony. Men had to wait. I offered to coach them on how to do it.

I have told you guys I am leading a revolution, right?

Everyone needs a cause. And my cause is Potty Parity, although I am now more inclined to Potty We Don’t Wait Ever Even If They Do Because It’s Time To Correct For Millennia Of Unfairness.

I used to think I would just run for office with Potty Parity as my platform, along with side planks of Pockets and Sleeves.

I have moved on to Overthrow the System.

And when I do, I will make it the law that there be at least three times as many toilets for women as for men.

There will not be gender-neutral toilets – those benefit men.

There will be toilets for women only.  Read Caroline Criado Perez’s book, Invisible Women, to see the research that backs this up.

If you think about it, you’ll see it for yourself. If you turn men’s rooms into gender neutral bathrooms, most women probably aren’t going to want to go in them. We are not really interested in walking past a wall of urinals with men peeing into them.

Although you know what? I would do it. I would do it just to prove a point, my point being, You want gender neutral? I WILL GIVE YOU GENDER NEUTRAL.

Plus I am sick and darn tired of waiting.

But men will go into women’s rooms. So all we do with gender-neutral bathrooms is reduce the wait time – what little wait time there is – for men.

I will make it the law that there have to be at least three times as many women-only toilets as there are men’s toilets. We are done waiting.

And when I am In Charge, I will also implement free menstrual supplies for girls around the world. If insurance can cover Viagra for middle-aged men who can’t get it up, we can sure pay for Kotex for young women and girls. If we can fund a gajillion wars, we can give girls what they need to stay in school so they are not condemned to lives of ignorance and drudgery and servitude.

And I will force them to build the damn bathrooms in countries where women have to pee in the fields, which means they hold it and get UTIs or go alone and get raped. (Yeah, I didn’t even know this was a thing until last year and it made me furious when I did learn it.)

And as long as I have power, even though I am philosophically opposed to the death penalty – I don’t want the state to have the power to decide who lives and who dies, I will make it a capital crime to perform FGM.

Oh you guys. The older I get and the more I learn, the angrier I become.

What else should I put on the Revolution List? Are you with me?


8 thoughts on “There will be no line for The Revolution. For Women, that is.

  1. I’m in! 100% Once went to a football game at a (then) men’s college. To make women’s rooms for the day, they taped shower curtains over the urinals so that we sensitive ladies would not have to look at them! It was hilalrious, except for the part where each large restroom only had three stalls. They have since gone co-ed, so i’ve often wondered what parity looks like there now.

    We are 51% … so why are we still letting these guys decide what we can and can’t do. Rise up, Sisters!


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