Does wearing comfy shoes mean I have Given Up?

I don’t like pain. I do like cute shoes. What’s a woman to do?

 

orange shoes
Do these count as Ugly Shoes? Because I no longer want to suffer but I also don’t want to wear Hideous Shoes, which is often the only way to have Feet Without Pain.

I always swore I would not Cross the Rubicon of Shoes.

I swore that even though fashion has never been my life – not that I am not interested, but apparently, I am incapable. My sister got all the hair, makeup, and accessory genes. She is as cute as a button and always knows what to wear and how to wear it and I? I am kind of frumpy and dowdy.

Except for my shoes.

Shoes are the place I. Will. Not. Compromise.

I heart the shoes.

I especially heart the expensive nice Italian shoes. Only I have a secret.

I get them on eBay.

Oh don’t act all shocked. Like you wouldn’t take shoes from your best friend?

Pretend the little old lady who died and left a closet of Ferragamos was your best friend’s grandmother.

Indeed, something like that happened to me once. My best friend from high school, Julie, was volunteering at the Junior League thrift shop in Atlanta – btw, the JL thrift shop is an excellent place to look for quality used clothes – and nabbed several pairs of Ferragamos when another Junior Leaguer, who happened to be the Ferragamo rep, dropped off a bunch of samples that had not sold.

I think Julie wears a ten, so the nine narrows that the rep left did not fit her. But she thought they might fit me, so in an act of generosity that only a high school best friend could offer, she sent them to me.

I wore them one day.

One.

And spent most of the day sitting at my desk and trying not to have to hobble to the ladies’. I called Julie. “They don’t fit! They HURT!”

“Then dangle them off your toe!” she ordered. “THEY ARE ITALIAN!”

And she was right.

Anyhow. You can get some really nice Ferragamos on eBay for under $50. And once you own them, do not wear them outside! Leave them at work and use them only to walk indoors on the carpet. They should not be taken on icy, snowy, salty sidewalks or driveways or parking lots. Mostly because the ice and salt will ruin them but also because Italian shoes are not designed for walking well in winter conditions.

I also found a pair of Ferragamos at a Milwaukee thrift shop for only $12.

“Is this price right?” I asked the clerk. “These are Ferragamos!”

She sighed. “Yeah, I know. But nobody here knows what they are.”

I did.

I wear high heels at work, even though we are now a jeans every day office. I like high heels. I wear my leopard print heels every time I can. Did you know leopard is a neutral? It is. Theresa May inspired me. As soon as I saw her leopard shoes, I had to have some.

But – high heels are starting to hurt.

Did you know that the places you lose fat as you age are not your butt, your thighs, or your belly but your face and the bottom of your feet, which is probably the one place I ever wanted to have fat. Nobody has ever said to me, “Wow. You sure have chubby bottoms of your feet.” I was not vain about the bottom of my feet. But I sure liked having fat there because guess what? THE FAT IS WHAT KEEPS YOUR FEET FROM HURTING.

So. I had to have the shoes. But I don’t want the pain.

Back to eBay I went.

And guess what I found?

Ugly shoe brand in a cute shoe!

Yes! I found leopard print CLARK’S!

So reader, I bought them. And I wear them.

And they do not hurt. Amen.

PS Like my facebook page, please?

leopard heels

6 thoughts on “Does wearing comfy shoes mean I have Given Up?

  1. Leopard shoes are the key to happiness. They instantly add the essential something to de-frump an outfit. My conversion was in a restaurant in Miami. A woman was wearing a dead simple outfit: black pants, white flowing tank, leopard pumps. From that moment forward, I had to have leopard pumps. I am now on pair #2. Wearing leopard shoes means everyone tells you, all day, how adorable your shoes are and how cute you look. I’ve gotten to the invisible age, and I’ll take any kind, well-meant gesture of recognition from strangers I can get.

    Like

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