The real North/South divide is not politics it is Coke and it is Dr Pepper

What is patriotism but the love of the food one ate as a child?

Dr pepper

 

  1. In the South, everything is A Coke. As in, Would you like a Coke? Yes? What kind? We have 7 Up, Dr Pepper, Pepsi, and Sprite.
  2. Dr Pepper is better than Coke.
  3. Dr Pepper does not have a period after the “r” in “Dr”
  4. For whatever reason, it is difficult to find Dr Pepper up north

I don’t know why for #4.

I don’t know why for #3, either, but I also do not care. One character fewer to write is fine with me. Why bother with an extra period? We already know “dr” stands for “doctor.” Does a period after the “r” make it easier to understand? I think not.

But back to #4.

Why don’t they have Dr Pepper up here? To see Dr Pepper in the fridge in the hotel lounge on a business trip I had to go to Dallas! Not that I mind going to Texas. I didn’t mind at all. But seeing the Dr Pepper and the diet Dr Pepper in that fridge made me realize they don’t have it in the machine at work. At company lunches, they will offer both Coke and Pepsi but there is no Dr Pepper.

Do people up here just not know? Do they not know diet Dr Pepper tastes better – well, less bad – than diet Coke and that in the morning, when you need an additional caffeine delivery system after you have already had your coffee and need something that won’t make your teeth all nasty and your breath bad, both of which are highly undesirable under regular circumstances but even more so when you are around other people, like your co-workers, you want that clean, carbonated taste?

They had diet Dr Pepper in the machines at work but took it out because not enough people bought it.

Which is why I was so excited to see it in the lounge at the meeting in Dallas.

And then I got into the meeting room and saw the neat pyramids of soda for the meetings and saw only Pepsi products.

Dr pepper no

Which seriously what the heck?

Bad enough that there was no diet Dr Pepper – which I knew they had in the hotel because I had just seen it – but now there was also no diet Coke?

Who does that?

Who?

I wanted to say “evil people who hate me and don’t want me to stay awake and hydrated,” but that might be too strong.

So I will say, “Corporate people who invited to the meeting Major Customer headquartered in Dallas whose name rhymes with ‘Mempsi.'”

All I can say is we better get that account because I was asked to suffer greatly.

 

One thought on “The real North/South divide is not politics it is Coke and it is Dr Pepper

  1. Do you have Mr (period or none – don’t have a clue ) Pibb. It kinda tastes like Dr Pepper, but not as good. never tried the diet…
    Are you too young to remember RC Cola? That was the southern drink before Coke.

    Like

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