What the heck is happening to MY ARMS?
OK you guys. WHAT IS GOING ON?
For the record, I have been working out with weights for – *does the math in her head* – 26 years.
Nope, I am not muscle bound.
Nope, I am not lean.
I am sad to report that the adage “Great abs are made not in the gym but the kitchen” is absolutely true.
I am not willing to be hungry to lose weight and that’s kinda what it comes down to in my case. Plus I just like to eat. It’s my hobby. I don’t work out almost every day because I like to exercise, I work out almost every day because I like to eat.
And maybe if I worked out five hours a day, I wouldn’t have to worry about what was happening in the kitchen, but I can tell you that even when I was riding my bike to work every day – 20 miles, round trip – plus going to the gym at lunch because I was bored and I am not paid by the hour so why would I work through lunch?, I was still not ultra lean.
My ancestors gave me a body designed to survive in famine and in winter, which I suppose will be useful if the apocalypse comes but honestly does not do much for me fashion wise now.
But then I remind myself that if my worst problem is that I get more than enough food, I have a really great life.
But now I think I am getting a worse problem?
Despite the bicep and tricep work – 26 years’ worth, I am getting Old Lady Arms.
You know what I am talking about. I have also heard them called Cafeteria Lady Arms.
I am getting the upper arms that don’t stop moving.
Maybe this is a slightly chubby person thing? Does this happen to thin women? Do their upper arms keep shaking after the intentional movement has stopped?
Is this a problem I could solve if I lost weight in my upper arm? Or would the skin stay the same size?
I feel as if my body is betraying me. I exercise. I eat a healt – ok, a moderately decent diet. I don’t smoke (yet, but once I already have face wrinkles, I will start, because it looks like fun and the only thing keeping me from doing it now is vanity), I don’t drink (not for moral reasons but because I think beer and wine taste awful and for the calories, I would rather have butter), and I now, unlike my misspent youth, stay out of the sun.
Yet I occasionally catch a surprise glimpse of my neck. Or an in-focus view of my eyes. And now the upper arms. And I wonder when it all happened and if all my sisters who have gone before me were as surprised by their new selves as I am.